Testimony of Taylor C. Fletcher II

There are many Christians that have had a sudden life-changing experience at the moment when they came to know the Lord. Their stories are often dynamic and exciting when their conversion comes about. There are others, such as myself that have had a slow and meticulous evolution towards understanding and acceptance of Christ. This does not change the way any Christian feels inside, nor does it change the internal intensity of the relationship having accepted Christ as your personal savior. It does however show the diverse way in which the Lord can affect change in our lives.

My story begins with my education about our Lord, which began as a very young child. I always had an inclination toward spiritual matters and a relatively clear understanding of a personal relationship with the Lord. I grew up attending Sunday school and church and it just seemed to be natural to have a personal relationship with the Lord. I remember praying as a child in times of difficulty and loneliness and even at a very young age it was the only way that I could find comfort in these tough situations.

As I grew into adolescence in the early teenage years, I found there was significant pressure to leave my faith behind and make my own way. This was a time in the sixties when the world was in turmoil with the Viet Nam war and the hippie movement. These times inspired “free thinking” that pushed many in my generation to ignore the lessons of our parents, elders and common sense. I became an individual who essentially threw the baby out with the bath water in terms of removing myself from any and all spiritual heritage that I might have learned up to that point in my life. I felt the false sense of freedom of expression, as well as the freedom of ability to pursue anything and everything that I felt was important at the time. There were no moral restrictions, there were no Christian guidelines, there were no boundaries. I did not know it at the time, but looking back I can see that it certainly was Satan's work in my life that enabled me to feel this way. What greater gift can we give Satan but to throw out all moral and ethical guidelines for our life? I'm sure the Lord shook his head and cried in disbelief as he saw me go through my life for many years. He knew I would one-day return, however the damage that I was to do to myself would leave immeasurable scars that I would wrestle with for the rest of life.

When you have no rules and guidelines to direct you, you are a ship at sea without a rudder. You merely drift whichever way the wind blows and there is no foundation to the direction that your life takes. There are also many natural repercussions that come into play when you violate the moral principles of God. At that point of my life, without consciously knowing it, I set about to breaking each and every one of the Ten Commandments in almost a methodical fashion. It was as though I was being directed by the Devil himself. My life felt empowered because I believed that I had the freedom to choose whatever I wanted without any consequences. Little did I know that the consequences would all come to bear at some point in my future. My life became a great hunt for the next experience that would bring me closer to what I perceived to be God. I viewed my relationship with God almost as a peer in the sense that I would merely need to reach Nirvana to be equal with God. Along my path of destruction I tried every internal and external stimuli I could to achieve this equal footing with God, from “sex, drugs and rock and roll” to ritualistic séances and everything in between. I began to delve into Eastern Mysticism and devoured every book I could read on any type of religion and began adopting various attributes and characteristics of each religion that I felt had value. In doing this, I created my own religion that was tailor made for me. I thought, why shouldn't I pull the best parts of all these religions and make my own? I believed that I certainly had the right to do this because I was on equal footing with God. After many years of adhering to this philosophy I began to realize that I was still spiritually adrift and in moments of clarity I would look at my evolution, only to find that I had achieved nothing and gone nowhere. In many ways I was still in the same place where my journey had started, only I had lost my youth along the way and had still not found harmony in my life. It is then that I began to pray again deeply and to read the Bible and re-read scriptures that I had known as a child. It was as if I was in a deep hole and the only way I could find my way out towards the light was to just slowly make every attempt to climb a step every day. This meant recommitting my life to Jesus and accepting that all along the way, He had always been with me. In looking back over those many lost years, the only solace I found along the way were those times when I would fall to my knees in prayer and hold on tightly to the Lord because there was nothing else left to hold on to. Nothing made any sense during these times, and had I not found my relationship with the Lord I would surely have been lost. I look back now and wonder why He has been so faithful to me while I have been so unfaithful to Him. I think back of the Prodigal Son returning from failure at the ways of the world and the father placing the finest garment upon his shoulders and setting him at the finest table for a feast. My Heavenly Father has done so much more for me than this, and I know better than anyone that I surely do not deserve His mercy. It took me a long time to understand what God's grace really is all about. It is an unmerited gift bestowed upon an undeserving lost soul.

Is my life perfect now? Certainly it is not. Is my path easy now? No. Sadly life is still a great struggle at times. But even more than the promise of eternal life that my Father gives me, and even more than knowing that there is more to life than this earthly plain, the Lord has become my earthly companion, ever present, always loving, always willing and able to guide my steps in the right direction, even when I stumble and fall. He supplies for my needs and gives me everything that He wants me to have in His own time. I trust in Him, I believe in Him, He lifts my burden and makes my way clear. I know that I will never leave Him, but I know in the deepest crevices of my being that He absolutely will never leave me under any circumstances, ever.

Psalm 16; Keep me safe O God, for in you I take refuge. I said to the Lord, you are my Lord apart from you I have no good thing . . .

. . . Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Surely I have all delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord who counsels me. Even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices my body will also rest secure. Because You will not abandon me to the grave nor will You let your holy ones see decay. You have made known made to me the path of life. You will fill me with joy in your presence with eternal pleasures at your right hand.